Trauma Isn’t a Life Sentence — It’s a Nervous System Glitch

Most people talk about trauma like it’s a permanent stain. Something you can never wash off. Something that defines you forever.

But here’s the thing no one tells you enough: trauma isn’t a life sentence.

It doesn’t mean what happened to you wasn’t devastating, unfair, or painful. It means your body did exactly what it was designed to do in the moment to protect you.
And sometimes, that protective mechanism doesn’t shut off. It loops.

So you end up living as if the danger never ended.

There are very real times when your nervous system gets activated that truly need the action of protection or preservation. But discerning between the perceived threat and the very real threat is where you get to reconfigure.

The truth is, your nervous system isn’t broken.
It’s brilliant. It just hasn’t learned it’s safe to reset yet.

And this is where our work begins.

When people use the word trauma, they’re usually talking about the aftershocks, not the original event. 

• The flashbacks.
  
• The hypervigilance.
  
• The numbness.
  
• The yes’s that really were no’s.
  
• The no’s that weren’t respected.
  
• The panic in “safe” spaces.
  
• The anxiety that makes no sense in the present moment.
  

These are not proof that you’re weak or defective. They’re proof that your nervous system is still running survival mode long after the threat has passed.

The habitual reactions you’ve developed may bring about similar situations/relationships/ or dynamics into your life; And you can work with them in a way that’ll give you conscious autonomy back.

It means you can work WITH your parts to let you complete the expression, as well as integrate it.
It won’t disappear, but you’ll be able to notice it, name it, and choose a response that’s in line with where and who you are today.
And eventually, it won’t even be loud enough to set off the alarms.

Neuroception: Your Hidden Safety Radar

Dr. Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory introduced the concept of neuroception, your body’s subconscious safety scanner.

Before your brain has words, your body decides whether it feels safe.
A slammed door might feel like an attack.
Silence might feel like abandonment.
You might internalise someone’s autonomy as rejection.

These are echos of the past being re experienced in the present.

The world looks threatening, even when it isn’t. And because this process happens below conscious awareness, you can’t simply “think your way out.”

In shamanic traditions, we call this experience a “soul loss”.
A part of your uninhibited soul’s expression that had to be

twisted/suppressed/denied in order to be:
heard, understood, or to “matter”.

All in order to receive the very base thing you were meant to have, but didn’t get, or get in the way you needed it. Your soul gets to reclaim itself through remembrance.

In internal family systems, it’s finding the exiled parts and integrating them.

 

Incomplete Survival Responses

In moments of trauma, your body activates: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. But if the response doesn’t get to fully express from truth: say you wanted to but couldn’t, run but stayed frozen still, or your voice locked up instead of screaming, your nervous system gets stuck mid-loop, unsure of which safety mechanisms would survive the threat. 

It keeps bracing as if the moment never ended.

Memory Wired Into the Body

Trauma isn’t just a story in your head. It’s stored in your fascia, your vagus nerve, your heartbeat, and your breath patterns. That’s why affirmations or mindset work can fall flat for some.
The body doesn’t “forget” because the nervous system hasn’t yet been shown that it’s safe. The nervous system is the gateway between physical and energetic. It’s electric. It’s the conduit for the charge that emotions and energy uses as it moves through our bodies and fields.
A grounded, centered nervous system = As above, so below, as within, so is with out.

Your mind is a clever storyteller. It will insist:
“I’m fine being treated this way.”
“I’m over it.”
“It wasn’t that bad.”
“They’re all going to laugh at me.”

But your body tells the truth through sensation.

• A tight chest that says you’re not ready, perpetual grief.
  
• A shallow breath that whispers fear’s words over and over.
  
• A stomach knot that a choice unmade is causing anxiety through the roof.
  
• A trembling hand that remembers what you want to forget.
  

It’s about listening to your nervous system, creating dialogues of compassionate inquiry.
Trauma work isn’t about thinking your way out, it’s about listening your way in.

Trauma doesn’t only live in big breakdowns. It lives in subtle, everyday patterns.

• Burnout: You push long after your body begs for rest.
  
• Self-sabotage: Staying small feels safer than being seen.
  
• Overthinking: Trying to logic your way through emotional pain.
  
• People-pleasing: Saying yes while your gut screams no.
  
• Disconnection: Shutting down instead of risking intimacy.
  

It talks you out of putting yourself out there. It makes you forget your strength in a moment where you feel helpless. It replays the reaction to it until it is no longer repressed, but expressed. How ever many times it needs in order to fully integrate.

These patterns are not who you are. They’re protective reflexes that became habitual. Habit becomes character. Your system is still bracing, waiting for the other shoe to drop, or for the outcome of your nightmares to happen just when you relax.
Figure out the character, break the habit.

So if the effects of trauma aren’t permanent, what is it, then?
A signal that your nervous system needs recalibration.

Healing doesn’t erase what happened. It rewires your system to understand: the past is over, but the blueprint that binds you for longer than you want can be redrawn.

Recalibrating means rewiring. Unlearning the patterns by first recognising what they are. You can choose differently, you can get support, you can respond from your truth, now.

Here’s some of how psychosomatic therapy and nervous system science guide that process.

1. Micro-Safety

Healing doesn’t begin with big breakthroughs. It begins with micro-moments of safety. Recognising how it feels experientially through the body:

• Feeling your feet on the ground.
  
• Holding a warm cup of tea, feeling the heat on your fingertips.
  
• Hearing your own breath.
  
• A memory of a relaxed sunset on the beach.
  

Each micro-safety cue whispers to your nervous system:
“Right now, you are safe to _____________.”

2. Sensation Before Story

Instead of spiraling into “Why am I like this?”, try asking:
“What is happening in my body right now?”

Notice the sensations: tingling, heat, tension, emptiness. Don’t label them good or bad. Just see them as data. Essentially: don’t attach a narrative/story. Just state the sensations/emotions.

3. Completing the Loop

If your system got stuck in a freeze, it may need to finish what it couldn’t do before. Gentle shaking, movement, or sound can discharge survival energy that’s been trapped for years. Sense what that part needed, and give it space to complete.
Feel it and express it in whatever way suits you. Punch the pillow, push the wall, weight lift. Do what works for you.

4. Additionally, Co-Regulation

Your nervous system heals faster in connection. A lot of wounds are based in isolation, or made you feel like you had to carry it alone. Being with someone safe gives your body a template to mirror. An additional system that can compassionately listen, hold, and breathe with. This is why therapy, group support, or even a trusted friend can be so powerful. Having a regulated person around can create a field / heart coherence that brings your system more into calm.

5. Rewrite the Narrative

When the body feels safe, the mind can be more malleable to rewiring the response.
Reflection, journaling, and meaning-making allow you to weave a new story:
“I am not broken. I am healing and learning.”
“I can trust myself again. I’m allowed to make mistakes and still be safe.”
“Just because this happened once before, doesn’t mean it’ll always happen.”
“Just because I reacted before, doesn’t mean I will choose the same this time.”

Healing trauma isn’t about erasing the past.
It’s about teaching your body that the past is no longer happening, and you’re ok to do what you consciously choose now.

When your nervous system recalibrates, something shifts:

You stop living in delay.
You stop reacting to ghosts.
You start inhabiting the present moment, immersed in it.
You’re an active participant and advocate for your life.
You realize: you are not your trauma, nor the stories attached to it.
You are the aliveness waiting underneath it.

Why This Matters

A responsive nervous system changes everything.

• Relationships become clearer because you’re no longer reacting from old wounds.
  
• Decisions become grounded instead of impulsive.
  
• Self-trust deepens because your signals are no longer distorted.
  
• Creativity and compassion flow because your energy isn’t locked in survival and can finally be channeled into creating over surviving.
  

This is what coherence feels like when the mind and body stop fighting each other and start moving together.

But,

a regulated nervous system does NOT mean cool, calm, and collected all the time.

There will be times where anger is entirely necessary for action to take place.
There will be time when shame and embarrassment will teach you a deeper sense of self love.
There will be a time when running is your best option to survive.

It’s not about being zen through it all. It’s about being able to know yourself well enough to feel the feelings, without becoming them or drowning in them.

In polyvagal theory, it’s about how smoothly you can move through these states, coming back to coherent baseline through healthy/full expression.
Strong heart rate variability (HRV).

In shamanic traditions, it’s calling back the soul loss.
In internal family systems therapies, it’s integrating the exiled parts.
It’s completing the process.
It’s “I’m sorry, Please forgive me.Thank you. I love you.”

At hOHM, this is in the foundation of our KNOW TRUST BE yourself framework.

I’ve created a 5-week program designed to walk you through this process, and more. You’ll get:

• Live guidance and recordings.
  
• Practices rooted in neuroscience and psychosomatic therapy.
  
• App-based resources that support each step of the journey.
  

It’s not about fixing you.
It’s about helping your nervous system remember it’s safe to come home.
So you can relate to yourself, as well as others.
Connection, real human connection.

Trauma isn’t the end of your story.
It’s your nervous system’s way of saying: “I need help coming home to myself.”

It doesn’t mean forgetting what happened. It means reclaiming the present, step by step, breath by breath, sensation by sensation, until it lands like a steady breath again.

Because when the body feels safe, the mind softens.
When the mind softens its grasp, clarity returns.
And when clarity returns, the energy you once spent surviving becomes available for living, creating, and loving.

That’s not just healing.
It’s a conscious choice, autonomy.
It’s freedom.